(Halos rocking in the hoouuussee toonnnigghhtttt)
I HAVE BEEN WAY OFF on a lot of things, however, the last matchup of Yeti vs Stirrups shocked the hell out of me. I was making the last Matchup thread thinking that I have not personally seen Yeti around and Stirrups might shut him out. I misjudged that as badly as Kendrys misjudged his jump into home plate (too soon?).
Some of these matchups feel as if they are being overseen by Country Joe West, blowing calls and allowing shenanagins based on bias and cowboy hats so much so that you come up with strange results, such as DoV beating me. There is the possibility that Lookout Landing is so bored and distraught by being trade Halowooded by the Yankees that they are sitting and voting endlessly to give their lives some meaning after they realize Ichiro is just a more feminine version of Yu Darvish with less hitting abilities. For years Mariner fans could take solace in the fact that even though they traded Doug Fister for a western gripped hand J they could escape to the fact that if they absolutely, positively had to go to a Japanese Gay Bar and pick up on as many dudes as possible that they had the absolute best wingman in the MLB in Ichiro. Now Texas has gone and screwed that up, and Yu got to think that since Texas has 280% more gay bars per capita than Seattle that a whirling Darvish will be had with the festivities of their newly acquired pitcher. Seattle now has nothing.
(This is what you get when you google "Yu Darvish Gay Bar". Not really that shocked, actually)
It dawned on me today for the first time that Albert Pujols is on the team. It fully hit me. Like a "Oh Holy Shit" moment. I mean I fist pumped the night away when we signed him but it never really clicked that in about 3 months we will be watching Albert Pujols in an Angels uniform hitting the living crap out of the ball. I can think of nothing more baseball-boner inspiring.
I would give you some insightful look into this matchup, however, I can no longer judge the outcomes of these things. Down is up, Up is down, Napoli is a virgin and Rev is pounding Jack Daniels in the corner while donning BoSox gear head to toe. Nothing is right anymore. None of the contestants emailed me anything to post, so, without further ado vote away.
NEXT UP:
0 recs | 94 comments
Have you noticed that all of Subop's comments are green?
snowhor - January 27, 2012
"It dawned on me today for the first time that Albert Pujols is on the team."
Happened to me last week. Followed quickly by the realization that soon, one of the best prospects in baseball will be hitting in the same lineup.
Also, thank you for that Darvish picture. I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing a lot of that one in coming months…especially after Pujols takes him yard.
Also, Subop FTW!
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
Vernon Wells is one of the best prospects in baseball???
snowhor - January 27, 2012
He's got such a high ceiling.
Too bad he’s in the basement.
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
To blessed to progress?
ItCouldHappen - January 27, 2012
A couple of weeks ago I had to check to make sure I had not just dreamed
that Mathis was gone.
I mean, I really thought I’d imagined it.
opiejeanne - February 1, 2012
I'm going to withhold my vote until the 2 candidates win me over.
However, I would be shocked if SubOp doesn’t pick up the W. Then again DOV is still in the running, so what the hell do I know.
halofolife - January 27, 2012
Don't look at me, I voted for the foreign kid.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos!
red floyd - January 27, 2012
speech, I want the speech
ladybug - January 27, 2012
Supop needs no introduction.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
I voted Subop
Because he makes me feel stupid, but he’s never a dick about it.
No Bologna Polonia - January 27, 2012
I'm sure that's not very hard to do.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
For the longest freakinh time I thought HalosInDE
Was from freaking Delaware! Dammit! Thanks for making me feel shitty. SubOp is awesome but I’m going with the underdog in DE…
maze88 - January 27, 2012 via mobile
I always wondered who "de" was.....
ItCouldHappen - January 27, 2012
I thought that, too. "Hi. I'm in...Delaware."
Mayheminthehood - January 27, 2012
party on
Dono Romantico - January 27, 2012
OT: Van Halen will be in Vegas soon...
Kool and the Gang opening up for them…lol talk about complete opposites
maze88 - January 27, 2012 via mobile
I think he is from Delaware actually
Didn’t he always say the Phillies were his other team? Think he got a baseball-related job out that way too around the same time as the Winter Meetings.
Commander_Nate - January 27, 2012
I thought it stood for Demcratic republic of Estonia.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
Is Elboina a Democracy?
eyespy - January 27, 2012
I wonder if the Free Elbonian Army is still hiring mercenaries?
FEA! FEA!!
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
Elbonians are hilarious.
halofolife - January 30, 2012
I thought the same thing
Next you’re going to tell me Stuck in Romania lives in Italy.
Halowitz - January 27, 2012
Colorado
Last I heard
eyespy - January 27, 2012
makes PERFECT sense
Downing Rules - January 27, 2012
Black is white
up is down
Halowitz - January 27, 2012
Rev rocks Red Sox gear
That was funny
Downing Rules - January 27, 2012
I'm actually now "stuck" in Laguna Niguel...
was stuck in Romania for 13 years though… Couldn’t get ditch the old screen name when I moved back.
stuck in Romania - January 28, 2012
Life is rough...
red floyd - January 28, 2012
I was thinking something like
“Hey Arlington, Check out Halosheaven.com, your place for news on the best team in the AL west.”
Balls and Strikes - January 28, 2012
indeed... especially in these frigid winter months.
stuck in Romania - January 28, 2012
I'm with you on the pujols thing bro
It hit me when I first got a pujols jersey and my neighbor (who is from st louis) saw me in it and said hey you are a cardinals fan?
I quickly turned around abd showed her the "angels " written across the front, she was depreased by it and I fully realized we have albert pujols on our team for 10 years!
And I too thought it was halos from delaware.
Balls and Strikes - January 27, 2012 via mobile
Alright, who's the asshole that voted for halosinde? :D
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
LOL BONERS ARE HILARIOUS!!!!
(especially baseball boners!)
red floyd - January 27, 2012
You guys.
s/m/h
opiejeanne - February 1, 2012
The Darvish picture
So, CJ never really fit in on the Rangers because, you know, he’s from Southern California (SHUDDER!), but this guy is going to?
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
If I had a boatload of money
you would bet your ass I would rent out the largest billboard I could on the freeway that you take to get to Arlington and put this picture on it saying “There are only two things in Texas….”
PhiSlamma - January 27, 2012
Plus one-d.
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
Where is the paypal account
So I can donate my $5 to help this cause
Seik1177 - January 27, 2012
I got five on it...
seriously
Funke5ive - January 27, 2012
We know a guy in the billboard business!
If Arte did that to Nolan, it would elevate him to godlike status.
Rally Manatee - January 27, 2012
If'n y'll bees seriyus abowt thisn here plan, here'n's a website thingamadoober to rent billboards in Arlington, TX
link
Balls and Strikes - January 27, 2012
Would take quite a massive amount of donations.
PhiSlamma - January 27, 2012
even if we only do it for 4 weeks, how awesome would it be?
I would throw in some cash for it.
Balls and Strikes - January 27, 2012
It would quite possibly be the best blog inspired prank ever pulled off.
A big lady like naked asian bro greeting homophobic rednecks to the stadium where they plan to spend money to watch said naked asian bro pitch for their favorite team.
FFFFFFFFFFFFF yes.
PhiSlamma - January 27, 2012
I'll message the people and see how much it would cost.
I’ll post the response in a new thread to see if we have enough support to make it worth attempting.
Balls and Strikes - January 27, 2012
I'm in for sure.
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
Certain things aren't allowed,
like nudity, cursing, hate speech, threats, etc., etc…
RexTookMyStash - January 28, 2012
Nudity?
Looks like he’s getting ready for a swim meet to me.
Commander_Nate - January 30, 2012
What's the latest on this?
Did you get an estimate?
If we pull this prank off, we’d be like, Kings of the Internet or something.
5thStarter - January 30, 2012
I emailed them, I am still waiting to hear back.
I’ll give them a call if Im not too busy tomorrow.
Balls and Strikes - January 30, 2012
BALLS AND STRIKES
get ahold of me via email (mrguyofstuff2@gmail.com) with any updates, pricing, etc. I kind of want to see if we can get momentum on this, thanks bro.
PhiSlamma - January 31, 2012
Talked to the people at lamar outdoor billboards
looks like the minimum for a 4 week showing around the stadium is going to be about 8500.
they dont seem to have much around the stadium though, Im going to check out a couple other billboard companies.
Balls and Strikes - January 31, 2012
STATS VS CHEMISTRY
THAT IS ALL. Subop
NathanielS - January 27, 2012
I have a feeling Halosinde is going to have 478 votes when I log in tomorrow morning.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
I bet Ron Washington would love to get his face near that line of optimal-ness.
Halowitz - January 27, 2012
As well as the line of Yu Darvish's buttcrack.
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
that comment made me just scroll up
To check and see if there was a line of coke in the said location…….. I now need a forget-me-now pill and a stiff whiskey
ItCouldHappen - January 27, 2012
Sorry, man.
Anything with a line in it, Wash wants.
5thStarter - January 27, 2012
he even loves going out to talk to his pitcher
just so he can cross the foul line
ItCouldHappen - January 27, 2012
Darvish looks more like a catcher in that picture.
Halowitz - January 27, 2012 via mobile
Also anything called crack
eyespy - January 27, 2012
I want whiskey too.
RexTookMyStash - January 27, 2012
I have to go with subop
just on the strength of his “Mathis makes history backwards” post.
steelgolf - January 28, 2012
Subop
stuck in Romania - January 28, 2012
Subop's "Mike Napoli and the Father Who Wouldn't Love Him" trilogy is a classic.
Just for that story alone, he gets my vote.
angelslogic - January 28, 2012
The enigmatic whims of Votebot are at play once again
The Limey - January 28, 2012
What the hell is going on with these matchups?
Yetijuice and HalosInDE are winning? Come on!
5thStarter - January 28, 2012
Trollz!
stuck in Romania - January 28, 2012
Lame. I vote to stop using polls.
Phi needs to step in in the commissioner’s best interests of baseball sort of way to declare that votebot won’t prevent a final match-up between Suboptimal and Matt Welch.
snowhor - January 28, 2012
Note: No offense to our best Delaware friend.
snowhor - January 28, 2012
The voting is obviously
Off. Not entirely sure how to remedy it
PhiSlamma - January 29, 2012 via Android app
only vote verified by commenting should count...
kinda like our pre-game picks.
stuck in Romania - January 29, 2012
Yeah, this
OR isn’t there a way to close voting off to registered HH members? I thought I saw something like that on another SBNation site once.
Clutch - January 29, 2012
that'd work too...
stuck in Romania - January 29, 2012
We should have to do this after we vote
That way everyone will know we already did, and won’t allow us to vote more than once.
eyespy - January 29, 2012
Your vote is...
Suboptimal - January 28, 2012
Subtopic:
A substantial subcult of subversive subadults are subtly suballocating?
Subjugating Subop to some subhuman subject of the Indian subcontinent?
Subpar. Substandard. SUBOPTIMAL!
Subdue them, I say!
LAASurfin - January 28, 2012
I think that submarining substitutions like that subducts substructures.
red floyd - January 28, 2012
When I lose in a landslide to Rex tomorrow
At least I can claim that it is the screwed up polls
ryanfea - January 29, 2012
I gotta go with SupOptimal on this one.
My interactions with him have always been enlightening and informative and I am all about gathering information, no matter the source.
Angelsfan015 - January 29, 2012
If Subop loses I give up on
the internet,
NathanielS - January 30, 2012
If Subop loses...
The terrorists win.
5thStarter - January 30, 2012
Losing
I fully thought Subop and Turks Teeth were Final Four contenders. Up is down.
stereoscopic - January 30, 2012
Same.
LAASurfin - January 30, 2012
How did this happen?
BigGame48 - January 30, 2012
We may have a little surprise coming
Should tidy everything up
PhiSlamma - January 30, 2012 via Android app
I'm waiting .....
angelslogic - January 30, 2012
Funke5ive - January 30, 2012
I fault the Diebold voting machines.
That really is the only explanation for this vote count.
halofolife - January 30, 2012
Butterfly-ballot.
I meant to vote for Subop, but it looks like I voted for Pat Buchanan by mistake.
snowhor - January 30, 2012
“You ain’t got no problem, Bro. I’m on the motherf***er. Go back in there and chill them bloggers out, and wait for the Nak, which should be coming directly.”
PhiSlamma - January 30, 2012 via Android app
Even Chad is taking thia a little too serious
eyespy - January 30, 2012
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