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What Do You Do With Your Lackey Jersey?

What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the mornin'? I got a John Lackey Jersey for Christmas from my brother who was at the stadium sale. What should I do with it?

Poll
The ultimate fate of this gift should be...
Incinerate it for a You Tube Video
100 votes
Have my two dogs rip it to shreds for a You Tube Video
82 votes
Add the Name "Benedict" to the back and wear it
310 votes
Throw it in the back of the closet and wear it with pride in 2022
341 votes

833 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs  |  30 comments

Comments

If you come up with an idea let me know

So I can do it to my Jose Guillen jersey

Why the Hell do you have a Jose Guillen jersey?

LOL.

JK, but you should get rid of that. At least Lackey put in some valuable time to this organization.

I got it at the height of his one good season

about two week before his Sciosia explosion. I vowed to never get another players jersey again- I will only put my name on the back because I’m not getting traded, leaving for CASH, or publicly going on a coke binge with underage strippers.
At least not publicly.

Should I call you once the strippers

turn 18?

Hey I will definitely share

allegedly

Is there a context to his giving this to you

that makes it more acceptable, Rev?

Because this is the kind of slap in the face that should ruin families.

just a gag gift
Or so you think?
I've been trying to figure out the most cost-effective yet awesome way to explode my bobblehead.
Release my liver-filtered Guinness onto it
Liver filtered

hmmm. has a smokey aroma

Wear it the day after we beat Lackey and the Red Sox to knock them out of the playoffs

That’s a good idea.

Turn the L upside down, and add a crude line to make it an "F." Switch E and Y

That oughtta do it.

Think like Bill Veeck....

Just like his “Disco Demolition Night” promotion, we need a “Gone to the Enemy Demolition Jersey Night” where all the jerseys of those who chased the money and left are unceremoniously set ablaze.

Now of course, I’m not advocating the destruction of the Big A or the playing field like what occurred during “Disco Demolition Night” and Comiskey Park.

To go off this idea

A Halos Heaven jersey bonfire rally the night before Angels opening day.

Have him sign it...

then frame it with your 2002 WS Game 7 ticket stub and OC Register headline from 10/28/09.

Yeah...

I’m going to keep my bobble head. The best revenge is living a good life. Lackey and his inflated contract only makes Boston good for a year or two more. Lackey isn’t Nolan Ryan. He pitches for us well. Helped waive a lot of flags, but its not like The Angels can’t do it again without him.

As Mick Jagger sang...

“…I wanna see it pained black,
Black as night,
Black as coal…”

…cause that’s where Lackey’s future is to me…a big black empty nothingness.

Find a hot blonde...

Have her wear it and have someone puke on it for a You Tube video.

Nice

The puker has to be wearing a Boston hat or jersey, though. Better yet, make it Manny in a blond wig, for that matter.

I will take it off your hands
Keep it

I don’t think the Lackey deal will work out as anticipated. Either that or he will give Boston one great year out of five.

Put it away for a few years and if Lackey grows up in his attitude toward the Angels, he still is the winning pitcher for the team’s first-ever World Series win.

On a somewhat related note, I’m writing up a bunch of background information for a story or movie or some other future writingish project, and needed the name of a futuristic slow-acting fatal illness.

Lackey’s disease

I think it works.

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