It is Boston versus the Angels in the ALDS for the 3rd time in 5 seasons. I could do one of those “Our Catcher hit this many homeruns, Their Catcher hit that many homers” sort of preview things, but...Yawn. You can’t watch ESPN for ten minutes without a Red Sox update so you all know the gory details of the chowdage spilling out onto our fine field, so all of America has been brainwashed with the travails of John Henry’s rentals and Peter Gammons’ crushes. So let’s talk about the Angels... BUT... Let’s preview this series a little differently. Let’s play word association with Missus Halofan.
Missus Halofan and I started dating in May of 2002 and she has been an Angels fan since two months before the 2002 World Series. Before we got together she had no affinity for sports whatsoever. Now she listens to sports talk radio all day. Her family has marveled at the transformation. She is still too embarrassed to tell her artsy friends that she cannot go to the art opening or event because she is watching an Angels game, but she has mentioned her disdain of certain towns in the US because of their baseball teams to some of her yuppier-type acquaintances.
She is still learning the finer points of the sport, but we all are. She wears totally nerdy jersey regalia to games and gets mad and screams when things go wrong, just like us. She hates Boston and has told complete strangers in Boston apparel to go back to Massachusetts if their team is so great. So she is one of us. She has a soft spot for Gary Matthews Junior because she says he has a nice ass, the best ass she has ever seen on a man. So she is not one of us completely and I think we could use an expert “non-expert” to preview the Angels as they enter this series.
Here is missus Halofan’s series preview:
GAME 1 Starting Lineup
3B - CHONE FIGGINS: Speedy Gonzalez (she can say that she is half-Mexican)
LF - GARRET ANDERSON: Thriving in the 2nd spot, whatever you call it where the guy bats after the leadoff hitter
1B - MARK TEIXEIRA: Power hitter and you can count on him to be patient and get on base. Protects Vlad.
DH – VLADIMIR GUERRERO: Every Pitcher’s nightmare
CF – TORII HUNTER: Homerun stealer, extra run stealer, great defensively and a threat in the batter’s box.
2B - HOWIE KENDRICK: He is one of our best guys for getting hits.
C - MIKE NAPOLI: He is a clutch power hitter.
RF – GARY MATTHEWS Jr.: He started coming around at the end of the season.
SS – ERICK AYBAR: A cute little dynamo. He has had some great plays on defense and some good clutch hits throughout the season but I am free-associating and I don’t know how much I can back this up with statistics.
SERIES STARTING PITCHING
GAME 1 – JOHN LACKEY: When he is on he is the best, when he is not on, he is not the best, either way he is fearless. I don’t know enough about the technical aspects of pitching to describe how he does it but he is not afraid when he is up there doing it.
GAME 2 – ERVIN SANTANA: A great strikeout pitcher, he doesn’t walk a lot of batters, he is very calm and cool this season; A great improvement from last season.
GAME 3 – JOE SAUNDERS: I don’t know what to say to describe his pitching but you can usually count on him. He is a Lefty and some batters just can’t hit him.
BULLPEN
DARREN OLIVER: I am not surprised he made the playoff roster, he has been real good.
JOSE ARREDONDO: Pretty reliable
SCOT SHIELDS: He is good except when he is not, he has some days when he cannot locate his pitches and it is pretty bad, but otherwise he has a lot of good days.
FRANCISCO RODRIGUEZ: The bomb. It is rare he gives it up even when he makes us sweat.
THE BENCH
JUAN RIVERA: A good power hitter who would be even better if he had more playing time. He gets on base too.
ROBB QUINLAN: He is good against lefties, right? He is unpredictable otherwise... or maybe that just makes him predictable (laughs). He comes in ready to play, though.
I forgot to ask her about Jered Weaver and Jon Garland, who will be pitching out of the bullpen and failed to mention Jeff Mathis will likely be catching Ervin Santana on Friday – the fact that she did not mention Mathis pretty much says it all as she has, throughout the season, shouted “Why don’t they put in Napoli” as Mathis strikes out with men on base.
But this is how an average Angels fan of average baseball acumen understands the team she loves.
Go Angels! Play Ball !!
1 recs | 71 comments
K-Rod LOL that was classic
What does she think about Kendry Morales, Willits, and Jespin?
…..You forgot to ask her about them and forgot to mention that you forgot to ask her about them.
acuda27 - October 1, 2008
and Sheriff Woody
acuda27 - October 1, 2008
wait are the Bees still in postseason?
linkbruin - October 1, 2008
Those ones are.
TheOptimist - October 1, 2008
!!!
THE MISSUS RULES!!!
miantifaz - October 1, 2008
I like it
My girlfriend every once in a while pretends to be an Angels fan, so getting her to this level of knowing the players I think would be the ideal situation. I’m hoping these playoffs helps this situation. As a side note, if you take a look back at my comments in March/April, I was pretty heavy on the Mathis over Napoli bandwagon, and I realized how happy I was to see Napoli starting today, so I’m going to go ahead and officially resign that argument… you win everyone else on HH. Go Halos!
ponusbaum43 - October 1, 2008
oh shit!
my wife said she feels sorry for GMJ too…that means…
autry's cowboys - October 1, 2008
My wife is also a Napoli fan...
She boos at the TV when they announce Mathis in the starting lineup. In the stadium, she refuses to clap when they announce Mathis in the starting lineup.
Honestly, as hot as Napoli is hitting right now, I’d get his bat in the lineup every damned game. If Bobblehead has to pitch to Mathis, that’s ok… but then I want to see Napoli as the DH that game.
thetooth - October 1, 2008
All wives like Napoli, apparently
Mine was miffed at him for showing up with a tat this year, and briefly switched her allegiance to Mathis, but the whole thing about overthrowing kinda killed that.
rspencer - October 1, 2008
my girlfriend likes Naps too
so maybe it’s our fault?
howiestheman - October 1, 2008
I don't blame them.
I’d jump that sexy man, the way he’s been hitting (unless jumping him would make him go cold in which case I would not). I don’t think fangirls would make Naps go cold though. Fanguys is something else.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Fanguys would make him hotter I think.
TheTypingFiend - October 1, 2008
So do the Strike Squad girls...
I was surprised how many of them listed Napoli as their favorite player in their bios.
thetooth - October 1, 2008
My wife likes Mathis--she thinks he is better looking than Napoli
Halo84653 - October 1, 2008
Maybe this is why...
All stealthy, the guys a boob ninja (or maybe a ninja boob).
WiHaloFan - October 1, 2008
He is doing well for himself
hauldog - October 1, 2008
To be honest Ive never noticed GMJ's ass.
What about Teix though? The cameraguys cant keep their lenses off of Teix shaking his ass or grabbing his junk.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Nice job by the Mrs.
I was dating a girl in 2002 that made me tape Game 7 – dumped me the week before X-Mas and started dat8ing a Dodger fan.
Glad to know someone found love during that period of time.
Grichfan - October 1, 2008
Jesus
hauldog - October 1, 2008
What a train wreck...
Lucky you got out when you did.
thetooth - October 1, 2008
Is it 7 yet? My head is going to explode
hauldog - October 1, 2008
I know. I'm frickin dying here.
Higz - October 1, 2008
What's at 7?
Big Easy Halofan - October 1, 2008
uh, hello?
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
We determine which is the true red of baseball.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
regular season has already determined Cincinnati red does not belong.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
JOKE!
Just trying to ease the pregame tension. Speaking of which, I am going to go wash the car to kill some time…
Oh, and the answer to the riddle is simple: the true red of baseball is the seams, which are of a crimson hue.
Game time better hurry up. My weak attempt at fooling myself with bad jokes is not working…
Big Easy Halofan - October 1, 2008
I got the joke
but the tension is too high. I’ve been strung out like I’m on 10 cups of coffee all day. And it’s only getting worse as game time approaches.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
My wife loves all the Angels, with the exception of Teixeira (he replaced her fav, Caey K.).
She is slowly warming to Texiera. In reality, I think she would end up loving any players the Angels sign/develop with 2 exceptions:
1) Pierzynski – If he was in the electric chair, she would gladly throw the switch. She about went postal on the play at the plate yesterday (Shitzynski almost shoved the ball the the face of the Twin runner on the play at the plate).
2) Pedro Martinez – For the take-down on Don Zimmer a few years ago. She starts swearing when she sees Pedro….
sothball - October 1, 2008
*That was Casey K.
sothball - October 1, 2008
Almost the same with my wife
She hated Teixeira from when he was with the Rangers… so she’s having a hard time accepting him how, especially after he replaced Kotch.
She could kill Pierzynski. She broke her toe kicking the coffee table during his bullshit strikeout play against us in the playoffs, and she still blames him for it. LOL
Pedro Martinez is the only difference. My wife probably doesn’t know Pedro Martinez plays baseball.
thetooth - October 1, 2008
My 4-year-old cried when I told him Kotch was traded...
then he jumped up and down when he saw Teix mash that Salami against the Yankees! He has since forgotten about Kotchman. I’ll remind him when necessary.
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
"Kotch woulda had that"
autry's cowboys - October 1, 2008
I'm with the Missus!
ladybug - October 1, 2008
My wife
has become a pretty good Angels fan over the past year. Not so much becuase of me, but mostly she’s a pretty good “Homegirl” that always roots for the home team.
She won’t sit down and watch games with me however (especially in close ones) becuase she says that she can’t handle the pressure.
She like all of the current roster with the excpetion of Spier. She thinks he’s a nice guy but…
whenever I’m watching an evening game and Spier gets called up, she knows I’ll be getting to bed early. HA HA!
Scuff - October 1, 2008
Pressure...
My wife is like that at the end of close games. Even at the stadium, she’ll turn away and refuse to look as Frankie tries to get the third out. LOL
thetooth - October 1, 2008
Pressure...
Put some padding around the edges of the remotes, boys…sounds like your walls could use some protection.
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
" .. I interrupt this family for baseball season.... "
February to October , all we know is ANGEL’s… We eat Halo’s, Drink Red and rest our heads on Angel fabric… I LOVE the Misses GAme Thread – PERFECT !!! Tis’ a " family affair " … sit down. shout it " OUT " and home run OR or GET OUT OF THE WAY ! As I dropped Mr. K3YROUT off at the airport with angel hat and Jersey in hand, I’ll "presume " the position and blog in Misses Fashion… GO ANGELS … WHOOOHOOO… ps… As far as ASSES go ? KICK A** is all I’m thinking….
sparkplug - October 1, 2008
Did I miss something...
why is GMJ starting over Rivera?!
Awesome analysis by Missus Halofan!
Go Halos!
gohalos912 - October 1, 2008
GMJ has a nicer ass
Rev Halofan - October 1, 2008
The Soth likes the big butts
and he cannot lie.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
If that were true, Mathis would never start over Napoli
Big Easy Halofan - October 1, 2008
I guess the Soth CAN lie.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
I thought
The Missus had hots for a certain first base coach
eyespy - October 1, 2008
oh yeah
she loves her some alfredo griffin!
Rev Halofan - October 1, 2008
The Chowd's evil plans:
I asked this on Bill James online so we would know what they are up to, so I am reporting back:
Can you tell me what tricks the Sox have up their sleeve?, so I can go report them back to my Angels and they’ll be ready.
Asked by: J. McCann
Answered: October 1, 2008
(Bill James): We’re planning to use David Ortiz at third base.
elricsi - October 1, 2008
Be afraid, chowder nation. Be very afraid.
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
It's chowdah... say it!!
Higz - October 1, 2008
Freddy Quimby should have been found guilty for his accent, clumsy chef be damned
Big Easy Halofan - October 1, 2008
Is it 7 yet???
We have some Dodgers fans here in the office who went into the break-room to watch the game on our nice big plasma. Turns out the the cheapskate office manager only bought the “Office” package from DirecTV. Just news channels. No sports, no TBS, no nothing.
I think there’s about to be a riot in here.
Scuff - October 1, 2008
Tell the Doyer fans that they're in primetime for a reason.
So all their fans miss the game while they’re stuck at work. Bias for the Cubs.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Well I just mentioned it
becuase you know how those people from Chavez Latrine get when things are going their way.
Scuff - October 1, 2008
*aren't
Scuff - October 1, 2008
lock up your desk and hide your valuables.
palm trees are burning!
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Yeah, I was gonna go in
to grab a soda, but I’m afraid I might get a shiv in the back. BAA!
Scuff - October 1, 2008
Since I'm in Europe..
I will be asleep until 2 hours past the start time… playoff games usually run longer so i might catch the GameDay of the last couple innings.
But I will send my official “GO ANGELS!!!” from Finland a couple hours early. Get ’er done Big Thunder!
Neo8234 - October 1, 2008
C'mon Halos, FINNISH the Sox!
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
Hah I see what you did there.
Another round of applause for Downing. He’ll be at the Laugh Factory on Friday and Saturday. $2 beers and $5 cocktails all night long.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Dude...
you are bringing me in some serious cashish. Awesome!
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
How Swede that would be
Higz - October 1, 2008
Aw Norse-shit.
oops. that didn’t work too well.
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
There is Norway the Red Sox will beat the Angels.
Higz - October 1, 2008
Teo already has me on the laugh factory payroll
no room for you.
Downing Rules - October 1, 2008
Laugh Factory is for hacks and prop comics
I’m all Improv, baby.
Higz - October 1, 2008
So Somi
eyespy - October 1, 2008
*Suomi
eyespy - October 1, 2008
OK, I had to look that up
Nice job though
Higz - October 1, 2008
I book all the funny guys at all the comedy clubs.
It’s the least I can do.
teopeht - October 1, 2008
Hey someone liked my comment enough to rec it!
woo hoo!
Downing Rules - October 4, 2008
Liked this post so much I had to add mrs highlandhalo's honest comments on our team
(Bear in mind she is English and quite new to baseball as well, so you have to imagine these statements in an English accent):
Mark Teixeira: He looks a bit of a horse but I like his arse.
Desmond Figgins: Cute cute cute!
Garret Anderson: What happened to his Eddie Murphy moustache? What a pity!
John Lackey: Goodness gracious. Are you sure this bloke is your best pitcher?
Howie Kendrick: What’s a “hit machine” exactly? Is that what happened to his teeth?
Mike Scioscia: He hasn’t missed tea-time too often, has he?
Vladimir Guerrero: He’d fit right in at Notting Hill Festival. Wasn’t he the one you nearly cried about the day you learnt the Angels got him?
Torii Hunter: Might make a strong right-back. Nice smile though.
Ervin Santana: Is that why all the kids in Camden are wearing their baseball caps like that?
Mike Napoli: Who’s he?
Jeff Mathis: Oi! Who’s he?
Oh well, some things get lost in translation, but at least the missus is trying.
highlandhalo - October 2, 2008
Dude...the Notting Hillbillies...
Vlad could join Mark Knopfler’s band? Not sure if they could use a steel drum in their music.
Downing Rules - October 4, 2008
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